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See Rule #1 🤖🔪

I’m working from home (as many of us do now), but I am still loath to do chores around the house (like most of us are). I realize that I am writing for The Skelley, and since we are all about technology, I start thinking about the Jetsons’ rolling housekeeper Rosie (Yes, I have ADD.) Then I wonder, does this exist yet? And then I find one. Meet Neo, a five-foot-six-inch robot created by the Norwegian company 1X. Officially, you can’t buy Neo yet, but it is expected to cost between $20,000 to $30,000.

While I’m watching a video of Neo, I realize the striking similarities between Neo and Murderbot (Apple TV series.) Watch it. Tell me I’m wrong! It gets me thinking about I, Robot, and then Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics. Remind me, why do robots get three laws, and we have ten? -EB

What's Your Glucose Telling You? ⚕️

Technology is making it easier than ever for us to take charge of our health. From the first home blood pressure monitors in the late ’70s to today’s smartwatches that track heart rate, sleep, and fitness, we’ve come a long way. Now, continuous glucose monitors (CGMs) are becoming the next big thing-not just for people with diabetes, but for anyone interested in understanding how their lifestyle affects their blood sugar.

Prices vary from $50 to $500 a month, depending on features, but the real value is the insight these devices provide. By giving you instant feedback, CGMs empower you to make smarter lifestyle choices, improve your metabolic health, and reduce your risk of diabetes. It’s a powerful tool for anyone ready to live healthier, more informed lives. -LC

“Hey You Guys!” 🏴‍☠️

Considering it’s the 40th anniversary of The Goonies’ theatrical release, I thought I would give it a re-watch. I didn’t see it in theaters when it first came out in June 1985. I might have been a bit too old, or perhaps I was more fixated on Back to the Future, which was released that same summer.

I probably watched The Goonies with my kids at some point in the last twenty years, but it didn’t stick with me. Suffice it to say, I was not prepared for this viewing.

I’m not such a dud that I don’t like to blast Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” at max volume from time to time. But even when I turn it up to 11, it’s a mere whisper compared to the ear-piercing sounds of the kids in The Goonies. The actors screamed almost every line of their dialogue. A near-infinite number of skeleton jump scares had the then-young and future stars Martha Plimpton, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin, Sean Astin, and the rest of their treasure-seeking gang repeatedly emptying their lungs at top volume as they searched for One-Eyed Willy’s lost gold in the catacombs under Astoria.

I let out my own shriek (of disgust) when mutant Sloth gave the kid they call Chunk a big, wet kiss on the lips-right after an equally uncomfortable Baby Ruth scene. 🤮 Despite that, these kids are the luckiest treasure hunters in history. Even when the bumbling thieves chasing them fire rounds of bullets at these mere children (Ah, the ’80s!) they solve clue after clue. It’s all just a good bit of fun!

But the ending broke my brain. The whole town was crowded on the beach after they found the missing kids, yet inexplicably, everyone just stood there watching as a treasure worth billions of dollars (missing for centuries) sailed away on an unmanned pirate ship. No one dove into the water or hopped into a speedboat to chase it down and fill their pockets with gold coins. Nope, they all just stared wistfully toward the horizon as the ship faded into the distance. But Goonies Never Die! Or give up. So I’m guessing at least one of them went after it in the post-credit sequence. I didn’t stick around to find out. -LC

Satellite Parking | Lot Full 🛰️ 🛰️ 🛰️

Elon Musk’s and Jeff Bezos’ big flying d*** contest is in full swing. Apparently no corner of the earth should be deprived of the ability to stream the latest from the Costco Guys.

Amazon’s Project Kuiper just launched its first wave of broadband satellites into Low Earth Orbit (LEO) hoping to compete with Starlink’s more than 3,200 already circling the globe. LEO is a vast area, but it is getting a little crowded. Currently U.S. Space Command is tracking over 35,000 objects to mitigate the risk of collisions. Because where they’re going, there’s no roadside assistance. -LC

Smart Snippets ✂️

🛒 Are you looking for organics? Not groceries, search results. OpenAI’s ChatGPT is about to include shopping buttons for products displayed amongst its over one billion searches per week. Paid product placements need not apply.

🍗 He should have just lowered the price of the giant turkey leg. Disgruntled former Disney employee sentenced to prison for altering allergen info on the mouse-house’s theme park menus.

🔌 Bezos is coming after the Teslas too? Get ready to roll your own (once fully charged) new mini-electric truck backed by Mr. Amazon starting in 2026. It’s called the Slate and the online configuration tool will let you build up to 9 trillion different versions. If you build a different one every second starting now, you’ll be done in 285,200 years. Get to work!

Laugh Lines 🤣

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this newsletter is financial advice or any other kind of advice for that matter. This is strictly for entertainment and fodder for occasional thoughtful reflection. The owners of The Skelley may benefit financially when readers click on links in the publication.